HELP SUICIDAL TEENS

HELP SUICIDAL TEENS
An unsuccessful love affair or an abusive relationship can hamper a teen’s self-confidence to such an extent that he/she may feel that ending life is the only way out. Here’s how you can understand those symptoms and offer help
SEEMA HINGORRANY

Suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15-to 24-year-olds. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), reliable scientific research has found that there are as many as eight to 25 attempted suicides to one completed suicide. The strongest risk factors for attempted suicide in youth are depression, substance abuse and aggressive or disruptive behaviours. The WHO estimates that one million people die in the world each year by suicide.

What causes teens to attempt suicide?
Adolescence is a stressful developmental period filled with major changes — body changes, changes in thoughts and feelings. Strong feelings of stress, confusion, fear and uncertainty, as well as pressure to succeed and the ability to think about things in new ways influence a teenager’s problem-solving and decision-making abilities.

Some children who take their own lives are anxious, insecure kids who have a desperate desire to be liked, to fit in, to do well. Their expectations are so high that they demand too much of themselves, and so are constantly disappointed with themselves. Even a traumatic event can make them severely depressed. Most suicides are caused by a combination of events that lead a person to believe that ending life is the only way out. A failed love affair or an abusive relationship can hamper self-esteem and self-confidence to such an extent that teens take such an impulsive step.

Depressed teens who take their own lives do so because they are enduring unbearable psychological pain and perceive that there are no more options available to them.

Look closely for these signs:
You feel his/her personality has changed dramatically
He/she always seems bored and has trouble concentrating
He/she is having trouble getting along with other friends or with parents.
He has withdrawn from people he used to feel close to
The quality of his/her schoolwork has gone down.
Has he failed to live up to his own or someone else’s expectations?
Is acting like a rebel in an unexplained way
Has started to write notes or poems about death
He/she may be complaining of headaches, stomach aches, etc, that may or may not be real
Unusual neglect of personal appearance
Indicates plans to commit suicide
Verbalises, “I want to kill myself,” or “I’m going to commit suicide”
Gives verbal hints such as “I won’t be a problem much longer” or “If anything happens to me, I want you to know...”
Gives away favourite possessions
Becomes suddenly cheerful after a period of depression
May express bizarre thoughts
Writes one or more suicide notes

Helping your teen
Get your teen to talk to you. Starting a conversation can be daunting, but you can say: “You seem really down. I want to help you. Is there anything I can do?”

Remember your child doesn’t expect you to have answers. Your child probably just needs someone to listen to. By listening and responding in a non-judgmental manner, you are helping in a major way. .

Take your teen’s words seriously: If your child is joking or talking about suicide, giving possessions away, or saying goodbye, your only responsibility at this point is to get your child help, and get it fast.

Stay calm and composed
Do not leave him alone
Do not act shocked or judgmental.

Some tips for parents
Give the message to your child that failure is an important part of life. Most importantly, recovering from and moving past your failures are a part of being successful.

Recognise your child’s limitations and understand that your child cannot be perfect; in fact, no one is. Also, do not set very stiff and unachievable targets for them. Have reasonable expectations from them and help them set achievable goals.

When your child is discouraged and says, “I’m really good for nothing” — let him express his feelings but help him to see himself in a better light. Point out past achievements. Remind him of his special skills. Psychologists and therapists can provide emotional support and can help teens build their own coping skills for dealing with problems.
(The writer is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist )